Tuesday, January 12, 2010

and for today's update

So, how’s this for an interesting day?

Last night I hear a friend’s husband is to have a triple heart bypass today. So I offer to stay with her in the hospital whilst this is happening, should she need me. She accepts, but as I know she has had a bad time recently with depression, I wondered if she would actually phone me a the time when she needed me, so I went to the hospital at about 9h00. I phoned her, I sms (texted) her and eventually thought she was either in the hospital in a place where she had turned off her phone, or her daughters had taken her shopping to take her mind off of things. Her husband was in surgery from before I got there and transferred to ICU at about 14h00. I still had not heard from her.

I had met his surgeon, who was annoyed, as she could not get hold of my friend, and I said I could not either, and was waiting for her. I expected her to walk in at anytime, so I stayed on. And cross-stitched (Teresa Wentzler Jeanne Love’s Angel, now I remember I hate wings..).

I phoned her employer to ask her did she know of either the daughters’ phone number as she was not at the hospital, and not available. She phoned me back to say the eldest daughter said my friend was at home (!!). (You have no idea what I was thinking at this moment – the kids –all three at work and the hubby in ICU and mom at home)!!

The eldest daughter phones the hospital and tells them more or less what is going on, and they will visit tonight! It works out that my friend for the third time in three months has tried to commit suicide – on the day her hubby has a triple heart bypass!! She is in that hospital over there, and he is here!

I give up! How can we get my friend to see that this is not the answer and that her family needs her? The poor man has none of his family by his side, and he was really in a bad way. I have only met him once; he will not remember me! So I left and came home feeling totally sad for him.


jolie-jordan said...

Wow! What a pickle. I feel for both of them...well for their kids too. Can but imagine worring about one being bad off but to have both of them in danger is horrible.

How is the husband doing? Did he pull through? Maybe he is the strength of the family and will be able and well soon to help her get through her crisis.

I'd recommend some heavy duty therapy for her. Sounds as if she is desparate right now and probably very frightened. I wouldn't let her be alone. When one gets suicidal feelings they are like having a death grip that just won't let go. She may very well need some heavy duty meds to go with the therapy.

Good of you to go to the hospital. You are truely a good friend. I mean it Coral...she is lucky to have you.

Love J-

Jenna said...

Coral, I don't even know what to say. My mother attempted suicide twice when my dad left and she's been borderline suicidal for many, many years. It's a terrible affliction. I have to tell you that she really can't help herself at this point. It may seem selfish that she's made this attempt while her husband was undergoing such a serious operation, but it sounds like she's unable to cope with what life is throwing her way. I agree with J that she needs some serious therapy and meds. She and her family are lucky to have a friend like you!